Music holds a unique ability to touch the depths of our souls, bringing solace and healing during times of grief and loss. In the context of a funeral service, music transcends words, offering a powerful channel to express emotions, honour memories, and provide comfort to mourners. Whether it is a sombre melody that stirs reflection or an uplifting piece that celebrates a life lived, the inclusion of music in a funeral service plays an indispensable role in creating a meaningful experience for all involved.
In my experience, music plays enough of a role to warrant a whole blog about it. Music has a very leading role in many people’s lives — when young it can shape fashion sense, friendships, and even thoughts on life itself. I know personally that music has developed and changed in my life as I have also developed and changed. Listening to certain songs takes me straight back to particular times, and helps me reflect on my own journey.
Getting the Music Right
When it comes to putting music to a funeral, it is essential to take time to choose the right pieces. Even if someone wasn’t particularly into music, I believe they should still have something. When making your way into a church or chapel without music, you simply hear feet on the ground and people shuffling about — and families always tell me they wish they had had something to fill that silence. Even some light classical music, such as Vaughan Williams’ The Lark Ascending, provides a beautiful backdrop that is light and smooth.
For the majority of people, music is key. When people are making funeral plans, music is often one of the first things they discuss — because music is a celebration of life. By selecting songs that hold special meaning to the deceased or reflect their passions and interests, the funeral service becomes a personal and intimate tribute. Some people, however, have had a loved one’s favourite song played and then found they can no longer listen to it. I tend to find that becomes easier over time — time is a great healer.
The Power of Choosing Together
Taking the time to sit down as a family and listen to music is great therapy. Everyone can come together, share ideas, and sit and listen — sharing the reasons behind each choice and the stories the music carries. This can take time, but it is a beautiful way to share memories. Disagreements can arise, and those can be hard to navigate when everyone is in a state of grief — which is exactly why music is such an important subject to discuss before you pass away.
The Exit Music
The exit piece of music can be massively important. As you leave the venue, it is traditional for family members to stand outside and talk to people. This isn’t always easy, but it gives bereaved families an opportunity to see the support they have around them. My usual suggestion is to choose something a little more uplifting for the exit — something that will make you smile and think of happier times. It gives you just a little extra strength and confidence to accept that support.
Gary’s Personal Choices
Music has the power to steer the shape, direction, and feel of a service entirely. Below is an example of what I personally would have at my own funeral — for me, these songs hold memories and have meaning in their words:
Entrance: Go by Tubby Love
Reflective: Thank You by Prem and Sangita
Exit: Follow the Sun by Xavier Rudd
In conclusion, music has an undeniable impact on the human spirit, and its importance in a funeral service cannot be overstated. It weaves together the threads of memory, love, and shared experience, creating a tapestry of emotions that honours the departed and offers support to those left behind.